Tips for Relating to 3s

Type 3 people are hard-working, adaptable, and task-oriented. They are motivated by praise, recognition, and competition. They want to look the part, yet they are willing to take short cuts to get there.

3s can help get the job done. They do not like to lose. They always find a way to win. Whatever the game is, 3s will play it if they feel they can be good at it. This can often cause them to be workaholics who over identify with whatever project they are working on or goal they are striving towards.

Because 3s want to appear successful and valuable, they can get caught up in exaggerating their experiences overestimating their abilities, over promising their deliverables, owned embellishing their accomplishments. In this way they can come across as dishonest, inauthentic, overly competitive, and hard to read. 3s can make a great first impression, but struggle with depth and authenticity in their relationships.

More Tips for Relationships with 2s

• 3s struggle to show people who they really are for fear that they are neither lovable or desirable. They show you whoever they think you want to see to connect with you. It can be frustrating because they may present many different versions of themself to you in the effort to give you what they think you want. So, be sure to let 3s know you love them simply for who they are, not for the image they present to you.
• 3s focus on and are distracted by the future. Don’t take it personally when they don’t want to rehash they past.
• 3s get exhausted from trying to be everything and do everything they need to be and do to impress everyone. Encourage them to see the world less dualistically (that is in terms of win-lose). Winning isn’t everything. The journey and experience are valuable in and of themselves. And when things don’t go so well, there is still value in learning and trying and exploring.
• Be strategic with praise. 3s like it, but can get too caught up in it.
• Know that 3s are optimistic and struggle with negativity.
• 3s come on strong, but they need you to be softer than they are.
• Encourage 3s to identify and share their feelings. Then, once they offer something, give them a break and don’t press them too far. It’s hard for 3s to share feelings and they have to get used to it!
• Don’t interrupt a 3 who is in the middle of working on a project!
• 3s are often like drill sergeants. They want to get things done fast, efficiently, and have no time for rest. In this way, they struggle to experience and show empathy. However, 3s have limitations just like everyone else. They just don’t stop until it’s too late, that is, someone is sick, injured, or overwhelmed and ready to quite.
• Encourage 3s to take care of themselves and worry less about what other people think. 3s do well to remember that, at the end of the day, they cannot really control how other people perceive them and many of their efforts to achieve actually work against authentic, deep relationships. It is through vulnerability and actually letting people see the real person behind the masks they wear, that 3s can actually experience what they truly want: to be loved just for who they are.