We Can Choose a Better Way

Instructions for a Hard Choice

Poem by Rev. Sarah (Are) Speed

First, you must take a deep breath.
Let oxygen dance through your lungs.
Exhale it slowly. Allow the hurt, the shame,
the anger to rise up in you. Let your mind run wild,
like a million loose horses. Let the narratives unfold, unroll,
a river of choppy water. Ask yourself how you got here. Look
down at your feet. Roll your shoulders back. Remember who you
are. Take another deep breath. Then, walk it back to the beginning.

Instead of looking at your feet, look at hers. Imagine where she
stands. Imagine what he needs. Dry the river of false stories
in your mind. Turn rushing water into a dry creek bed,
certainly not clean enough to drink. Call the horses.
Bring them home. Watch as they shake off
the dust of the day. Name what you’re feeling.
Inhale again. Now you are ready
to choose a better way.

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Reflection on Matthew 1:18-25

This story always raises a question for me. Why did it take divine intervention for Joseph to choose the better way? It took a vision and a celestial being for Joseph not to abandon his partner. Part of me is frustrated with Joseph. It took the hand of God for him to choose a better way; however, when I reflect upon my frustration, I realize in many ways we are each Joseph. Each day we are faced with opportunities to do and be better in our relationships with one another and the world. Yet, when we are faced with opportunities to put our freedom and power at risk—to do what is right—we often decline to engage. Risk often causes discomfort.

Too often, I witness people evade doing the right thing. When the opportunity rises to do and say the right thing, which ultimately puts one’s relationship, job, or reputation at risk, then polite excuses arise. Why do we make excuses instead of doing what is right? How about taking a risk for what is right? I sometimes wonder about and wish for divine intervention in these moments. What would happen if the divine would intervene and demand that people take the better way? Why should doing the right thing take divine intervention?

I wonder about Mary and Joseph’s relationship in the aftermath of the dream. What was in Mary’s heart and on her tongue as Joseph told her about the dream that changed everything? What did Mary’s face look like as Joseph confessed that saving her and the baby took the work of a divine dream and command? I hope he eventually realized that doing right by her shouldn’t have necessitated divine intervention. I hope we might be people who do not need convincing that there is a better way. Let’s choose the better way and risk solidarity with one another.

Adapted from a Reflection by Dr. Christian J. Hong